Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
