Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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