Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
