Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize