I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
