why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I cut my penus on the lid.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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