Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize