I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
look no pants
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
