ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
They took my balls.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Congratulations! We have a period
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