What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
