She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
