Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
