LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
