Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
