I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
