please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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