We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
