i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
