do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize