found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
