My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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