I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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