I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
