I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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