Tell her she can't have a vagina
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
