Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
