Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
