1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
