it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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