he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she peed on how many people?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
