Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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