I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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