I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
