he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
