I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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