my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
