Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
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