I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
