Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
