so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
