so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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