If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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