I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
