you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
