Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
