i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
