Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
