Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
