WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize