He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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