you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
