what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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