I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
