College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
