i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
