Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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