Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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