doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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