apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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