i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
