the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Randomize