It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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