...so i touched it.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
