i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
