Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
