singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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