brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
