It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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