I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
