when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
