Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
