quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
