You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Randomize