I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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