hell yes lets make some ravioli
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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