Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
