Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
