Tell her she can't have a vagina
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
