i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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