come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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