uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
