All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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