nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
