it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
