No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
